Potato sticks tortilla with smoked salmon, caviar, charred lemon and crème fraîche

Recently I spent a day at Waitrose Cookery School, a 40th birthday present from a bunch of close friends. It was a great day. I cooked, met some nice people, small chatted, ate and drank. We were shown stuff by eager, happy chefs whose relaxed smiles were no doubt fixed by the relief of having escaped a proper hectic restaurant kitchen.

There was pan-fried hake with broad beans, a very quaffable Albariño, a rich sherry laden oxtail stew, a very amenable Rioja, hand-made chorizo, some sort of raisin chocolately thing..

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And then there was the tortilla. An authentic many-egged beast of potatoes and onion and olive oil. More wine was sipped and more small-talk talked as we waited for the thing to cook. And waited.. and waited some more…

I don’t quite get how tortilla is somehow considered a gourmet food thing. I mean am I missing something? It’s just a big wedge of spuds and eggs, no? Plus if the eggs are fridge cold and the potatoes are raw, then it literally takes just shy of an entire lifetime to cook. And if you try to flip too soon waves of runny egg flood your kitchen like a viscous tsunami. For all the faff I’d rather make myself a pizza to be honest.

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In addition ‘foodies’ (and Spanish people) get all touchy if you dare add to or tweak it. Peppers? Sacrilege! Chorizo? Don’t you dare!

Well sod it, I pimped mine. And short-cut the whole process by using crisps and a microwave. Plus room temperature eggs. Always room temperature eggs.

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Ingredients: eggs, crisps, olive oil, smokes salmon, caviar, lemon, sugar, crème fraîche