Easter. Thank God. This year I relived my childhood and took my family on a fixed caravan holiday.
It was a beautiful place – green and undulating and quiet. I heard a woodpecker’s magical tock-tock echoing through the woods, and we saw loads of deer. The owner gave us a bag of deer feed and big herds of them wander right up to you. My family loved it, other guests loved it. After all there’s nothing us humans like more than being the master of cute furry creatures.
Yes, after a while the accommodation began to feel a tad cramped, but hey it made a nice change. A break from the relentless everyday arsepain of house upkeep, and the same old trips into town chasing my son round the local town square overlooked by a nightclub and takeaway shops. Much more fun running through the woods dodging deershit rather than puke and dropped kebab remnants.
But now we’re back and you know when a nice holiday’s about to end, you feel ridiculously R and R’ed, but then the anxiety of going back to work starts to creep in. Not that work’s a bad thing, it’s more that you can’t remember or comprehend how normal life actually works. I mean how is there time to do everything?
Soon enough I’ll be back amongst it and my laidback exterior will barely hide a familiar stressed out OCD driven grumpy old man rage. Just ask my wife. So to delay the onset of a pre-emptive nervous breakdown, the only thing to do is drink more wine and eat nice Chinese food.
I love Chinese food. It’s yummy and interesting. It reminds me of sitting together with my mum, dad and brother, and you can eat loads of it without getting uncomfortably full. Some of my most favourite dishes come from Chinese restaurants and a few of them are even actually from China – dim sum, battered protein with bright orange sauce, congee, squid with chilli and salt, mapo tofu, and of course duck. Crispy, fatty, savoury, salty duck with sticky hoisin sauce.
Ingredients: duck, plums, honey roasted cashews, hoisin, five spice, spring onions, cucumber, vinegar