I’ve been eating well all week. Everything’s been fresh and seasonal and locally made, sourced, picked, caught, cured or smoked by small Suffolk producers. And placed on deli shelves or cafe menus to lure in easy spending holiday makers like me. It was like being trapped in some fantasy Waitrose village.
Now that I’m back in Hertfordshire obviously this madness must come to an abrupt end. A backlash is inevitable. It’s the weekend and I needed something truly crappy and unhealthy to signify my return to normal life. I make no apologies. After a whole day of driving I wanted to unpack and lounge, create minimal washing-up, open a beer and ponder my post-holiday existence.
The following recipe, if you can even call it that, relies almost entirely on processed, pre-packed, ready-to-heat-up stuff. It’s a bit of an aberration, but it hit the spot.
I cooked frozen breaded chicken and shop bought onion bhajis in the oven. I placed these on toasted mini-naans before spooning over thick katsu curry sauce (or Chinese/Japanese curry sauce – the yellowy brown stuff that comes in tubs or little boxes). Chopped onion and tomato went on, followed by lime pickle (pickled chilli would work) and a slice of melty cheese.
Don’t even think about skipping the cheese. I stubbornly assert that anything even resembling a burger needs cheese. Bright yellow rubbery burger cheese is best. Right now my brain is too awash with additives and preservatives to properly explain why. But trust me, it’s the oozy cheese as much as the sauce that brings any burger patty, its toppings and bun together into one mouthful of indulgent deliciousness.
Ingredients: breaded chicken, katsu curry sauce, onion bhaji, naan breads, lime pickle, onion, tomato, cheese